7th Feb 09 - Lonely Sleepy Boring

好久好久好久好久好久没写博客。。。 真的好久。。
不过。。 不在乎过去。。我终于马上就写博客!!!
好。 好。。 废话太多了!!
写!

First of all, Happy "NIU" Year to all !!!

Let's recap on the year 2008.
My year 2008 kicks off with a "Bang" and it ends with a "Bang" too.
I seems to go on a rollercoast which brings to the highest peak and fall all the way down.
Going through this entire journey on rollercoaster, has resulted myself to evolve. I can say that year 2008 is a year in my entire life, I encountered the most problems.
Happiness and joy. Sadness and fear. Anger and hatred. It's indeed a year filled with mixed feelings.

As of today, nothing is going smooth for me. I ever wondered why this is happening on me. I know very clearly my problems or issues aren't as severe as concerning life and death, but it is critical to me.

I know clearly the rational of not being serious in something and never place effort in doing it, in the event if I failed, I ought to blame no one but myself. Because I brought it upon myself for not placing enough effort. But why is it that when I am serious and put effort in to make something works and yet the results still backfired?? Over the years, I have made numerous regretful decisions, but I have to accept all the mistakes and outcome. Recently I went to a place which I used to hang with a good friend of mine. I posted a question to him, if we can turn back time, when do you wanna turn the clock back till. While asking this, I have prepared an answer for myself. On the other hand, I asked myself, if I am happy and contented with my current life, I would not want to turn back time. But I do indeed wanted to if I have the chance and I shall not shared on my reason here.

I asked myself again, what have I actually achieved at my current age.
5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
I count down for 5 secs, my mind is still blank! It seems that I have wasted my life till now. I always have been doing things for others and what others want, and I have never really fight or to achieve for something which I wanted for myself. I knew I have passion for several things, but I have yet done any. I'm really wasting the entire year of 2008 or my life till now.

Now its the 38th day of year 2009. Let me share this, I'm out of job! With the current economic crisis having global impact, I really can cut cake and pop champagne to celebrate if I managed to secure a job. For this 38 days, I do nothing but swimming. I swim at least thrice weekly, and told myself that I ought to live a different lifestyle, a healthier lifestyle. I do read books now, not comics ok!!

In the year 2009, I have only 3 plans ahead. I categorised all as achievements if I did it.

a) Bring my career to a new height
b) Swim at least thrice a week
c) To further studies

The priorities are in the descending order accordingly. Soon I am hitting the age of 30, I can't simply continue my lifestyle as 2008 or earlier. I do have several personal issues which need serious attention to look into and to be resolved.

I hope this year will a better year for me. I just wanna live happily, with lesser problems and lesser issues if possible (the best is no problems and no issues), material gains are additional bonuses to me. Several materials are a necessity to me but it does not need to be luxurious.

有时候，想什么就去做，也许会更有效，最好别怀疑自己。
即使受到挫折也不轻易放弃，不在乎过去，只要创造未来。

All the best to myself and everyone.
Take care!

Good night...